literature

Speculum

Deviation Actions

MoonlightWillow6's avatar
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Literature Text

"It's been a while since I've seen you around."

"..."

"You haven't needed me as much as usual as of late."

"..."

"Actually, allow me me to amend that statement, you've been too arrogant to accept my help as of late."

"... I never needed you in the first place."

"Oh! Is that so? I was unaware of this. After all, without me, you'd still be a man with no home, no life, sitting on the side of the street. Not to mention, you're life fell to shambles after I left. Logic states that you are, in fact, useless without me."

"That's a lie."

"Is it? Or are you the liar here?"

"It is."

A man leaned down and picked up a stone, and then tossed it into the pond, distorting its glassy surface. His companion spoke no more.
Alright, day nine, done! :)

Inspired by this visual prompt: [link]

So what did you think?
Did you realize the man was talking to his reflection?
Do you think that concept actually worked?
Also, about the last paragraph, did it seem out of place because it wasn't dialogue? Did it mess with how the piece flowed?

Please tell me your thoughts! :)
© 2012 - 2024 MoonlightWillow6
Comments2
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Eve-Lang-El-Coup's avatar
'Not to mention, you(')r(e) life fell to shambles after I left.' - delete ()

I thought it was good.
At first no, but then I'm slow sometimes so don't take it to mean that others wouldn't. Looking at the prompt it all makes sense, you know, not that talking to yourself in a pool of water makes the best of sense. ;)
Yes it did. I think maybe if you expanded it a little it would work better. I'd be of no use in terms of where it should be expanded though. Maybe write as much back and forth as you can, and then cull it back down again to the most important parts? I'm only saying this because I'm interested to know what happened previously, what the reflection 'helped' with before. Maybe that's a little beyond the point of the story...oh well.
No. It makes perfect sense to have that as the ending.